I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
