He had one of those small greek statue penises
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
