you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
