the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
