your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
