If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
