is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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