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If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
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