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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head

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• (727): View more from Florida

  This is John, I met you downtown last night.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Oh, ok.

  (727): View more from Florida

  This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend

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