Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
