Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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