Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences