you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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