Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
