i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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