I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
