If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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