I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
