i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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