bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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