Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Green mimosas i think yes
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
