i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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