Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
