she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
