i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
