its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
