We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
