windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
