ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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