there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
