you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
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he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit