i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
