Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad

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  (716): Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad http://tfl.nu/smfo
  Replies (8) Good night (849) Bad night (851)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.

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  (216): you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently. http://tfl.nu/85of
  Replies (7) Good night (3647) Bad night (587)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.

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  (602): I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left. http://tfl.nu/dy5w
  Replies (6) Good night (794) Bad night (3901)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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  (859): I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever http://tfl.nu/61m6
  Replies (33) Good night (6203) Bad night (867)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.

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  (512): he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak. http://tfl.nu/trp5
  Replies (151) Good night (975) Bad night (4266)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

  (760): View more from California

  Wow.

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  (901): Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered. (760): Wow. http://tfl.nu/1wu1
  Replies (16) Good night (4239) Bad night (1471)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on

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  (503): Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on http://tfl.nu/atvv
  Replies (12) Good night (894) Bad night (4120)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.

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  (919): My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights. http://tfl.nu/zugt
  Replies (18) Good night (995) Bad night (3531)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"

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  (817): Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent" http://tfl.nu/6trp
  Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (2693)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

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  (978): Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea. http://tfl.nu/15nf
  Replies (8) Good night (793) Bad night (1395)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday

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  (603): Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday http://tfl.nu/obg3
  Replies (10) Good night (1632) Bad night (447)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night

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  (312): Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night http://tfl.nu/k1kb
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (539)
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  (+81): View more from

  And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.

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  (+81): And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other. http://tfl.nu/jk8n
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (270)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.

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  (304): You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard. http://tfl.nu/xmly
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (238)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.

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  (214): BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core. http://tfl.nu/qnhi
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (164)

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