Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.

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  (412): You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night. http://tfl.nu/f2ed
  Replies (14) Good night (7447) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting

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  (405): Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting http://tfl.nu/elrq
  Replies (9) Good night (3564) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

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  (847): i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding http://tfl.nu/srhr
  Replies (12) Good night (5531) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on

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  (610): you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on http://tfl.nu/unra
  Replies (20) Good night (6396) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

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  (616): bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store http://tfl.nu/dcxn
  Replies (7) Good night (3482) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.

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  (315): We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits. http://tfl.nu/d5s5
  Replies (9) Good night (3341) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  She swung at the pinata with crutches

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  (440): She swung at the pinata with crutches http://tfl.nu/dkgf
  Replies (4) Good night (1901) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.

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  (503): My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies. http://tfl.nu/5aky
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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  (210): It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs. http://tfl.nu/dihg
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory

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  (216): After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory http://tfl.nu/ao8l
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4

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  (706): I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4 http://tfl.nu/1te5
  Replies (7) Good night (425) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.

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  (607): Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme. http://tfl.nu/vszb
  Replies (4) Good night (808) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  orgasmnado...tomorrow night

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  That's what I'm talking about

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  (616): orgasmnado...tomorrow night (1-616): That's what I'm talking about http://tfl.nu/v1ax
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.

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  (619): my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder. http://tfl.nu/2kgi
  Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  "I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."

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  (330): "I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night." http://tfl.nu/wmyw
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (260)

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