My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
