Texts From Last Night

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  (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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  (+61): yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4c5v
  Replies (27) Good night (655) Bad night (3641)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3787) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.

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  (612): There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps. http://tfl.nu/vyep
  Replies (14) Good night (2553) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.

  (212): View more from New York

  i hate you

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  (813): i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you. (212): i hate you http://tfl.nu/mlwn
  Replies (20) Good night (4628) Bad night (956)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

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  (608): Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. http://tfl.nu/iq87
  Replies (19) Good night (5117) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (974): View more from

  You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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  (974): You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it. http://tfl.nu/orv6
  Replies (28) Good night (7813) Bad night (710)
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  (415): View more from California

  It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.

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  (415): It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner. http://tfl.nu/rtus
  Replies (23) Good night (3285) Bad night (1699) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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  (828): last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew. http://tfl.nu/yza6
  Replies (17) Good night (5544) Bad night (975)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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  (971): eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them http://tfl.nu/lmi8
  Replies (10) Good night (854) Bad night (4108) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride

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  (320): she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride http://tfl.nu/iegm
  Replies (4) Good night (460) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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  (575): You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/h3k6
  Replies (13) Good night (1662) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

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  (813): If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/2jpe
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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  (406): i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood http://tfl.nu/i7ix
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

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  (401): He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached. http://tfl.nu/uw2g
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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  (937): Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills. http://tfl.nu/u4sm
  Replies (0) Good night (202) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt

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