Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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