isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
