Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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