No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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