Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
