C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
