we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
