i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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