This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
