dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
