Your tits are I can't wait for
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
