can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
