what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
