When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
