at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
