At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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