it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
