Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize