I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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