I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
