the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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