Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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