I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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