i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
