Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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