So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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