Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
