How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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