hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
smell my finger.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is the high leading the old right now
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
