the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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