That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
