I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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