Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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