3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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