You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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