You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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