So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
