Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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